The Weather and a Movie

So, I’m finally writing in here again. I’m sitting in the car on my way home from Springfield, MO. It’s sleeting like crazy. And in one direction. Against us. Maybe it’s just the fact that we’re going 70 miles per hour, but it literally looks like the sleet is blowing parallel to the ground in the opposite direction of the car. The temperature gauge on the van reads 33. It’s like we’re in some game of God’s. One more magic degree, and we’re really in trouble, trying to get back to good ole Carrollton, Texas. I don’t really believe that God does that, don’t get me wrong. It’s just kind of ironic, I think. We can’t see too far ahead. Everything is dreary and kind of ominous. But I turned on Alexi Murdoch. And I’m writing. So I’m happy. If I’m still writing this when we get home, I might be kind of sad to arrive. I’m in a pretty good place right now.

Just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That movie will really get you to think. I really, really liked it. It’s about this couple that is having a hard time of it. Going through a “rough patch” in their relationship I guess. She decides to literally erase him from her memory, as if he never came into her life, and they never met. When he learns about this procedure, he decides to do the same, but only because she did. In the middle of it, he decides that he wants to keep her in his memory, but he can’t undo the procedure once it’s been started. It’s a really interesting concept I think. It really plays with the question, is it better to have loved and lost, or have never loved at all – which, is essentially what they accomplished with this procedure. Of course this memory erasing procedure isn’t real, but if it was, would it be ethical? If humans wanted to, would it be a good idea? The thought seems kind of nice. To be able to eradicate an entire relationship that ended badly. The feeling of wasted time would be gone, that’s for sure. The pain would be over and the horrible process of “getting over” someone would be non existent. So this memory erasing has its benefits. But I can’t help but thinking, what about ways that you grew with that person? Relationships teach us things. How to deal with people. What people are like on a more intimate level, and with each one, I think we take something very specific away from the situation. People learn from their experiences, end of story. And in the end, I think those lessons are worth the pain. That’s really all it comes down to.

Yeah, Yeah, I know....

The title of this blog is "My Life at Mizzou", and yeah, I know, it's December 15th. I realize that I'm a semester late. Get over it. This is for me, and not you. YOU are probably no one. No one is probably reading this but me. And I'm okay with that for now. So I'm not going to catch you up on the past semester, maybe I'll save that for a later date, but who am I kidding? No I won't.

It's the week of finals, and my last day here until January 19th is on Friday. I can't wait to go home. Fall back into the familiarity that is Carrollton, Texas. The good ole 75007, area code 214. I can't wait to be home and see my family's magnificent Christmas tree that they put up without me this year, with all those ridiculous lights and ornaments that represent a different stage in our family's development. I can't wait to see my friends. The ones that I know will always be there, and will never change. As much as I love Mizzou, the rollercoaster of finding and keeping good, strong, friends, has gotten old and exhausting. So there's that. Home. Only a few days away. I can't wait.

Ugh. Reading this annoys me. I feel like I should be a naturally better writer. Especially if I'm trying to be a journalist. But I'm just not. Maybe it's cause this is my first one. The whole point of this is to better my writing skills right? I just shouldn't be so hard on myself right?

I love the feeling of typing fast on my mac book keys. Why haven't I started this earlier? These words just flow so fast from my head to my fingertips to my lit macbook keyboard so FAST. I love it. Thank you, Apple.

Jeez, I'm random.

What else?

Recently, I've found an amazing thing: STUMBLE UPON . COM. It is only the coolest things on the internet today, honed to my interests. And it can be honed to yours too! Try it, you'll waste so much time, but I really don't feel like I've wasted much time. I've been able to share sites with friends and family and feel joy when I make someone's day. And mine is made with every other click! It's an amazing concept, really.

Oh, and the other day, I stumbled on this girl's project that she posted online called 300 love letters. It's SO COOL. Her writing astounds me. She wrote 300 love letters to friends, family, lovers, crushes, acquaintances, strangers, everyone. Some of them are typed, some of them are handwritten on just notebook paper, sketchbook paper, napkins, or weird stationary. The point is, her words are so honest, her emotions so raw. So, she inspired me! I want to write down all of the feelings that I have for people, towards them. I want to start writing letters. I probably won't send them. But maybe I will send a few. Some of her quotes are beautiful, I'll probably put them here. Anyway, this random girl that I "stumbled upon" who is a 25 year old working in a coffee shop in New Orleans has really touched me in a way that has shocked me. I emailed her and told her that her project has inspired me, and I haven't heard back from her, but I hope she got it and was happy. I can only hope to one day write as well as she does.

This has gone on long enough. I guess that's to be expected from a first post? Who knows. Hopefully my future posts will have more direction. I'm dissatisfied with this one, to say the least.

More later. Hopefully. If I remember.